Friday, 24 August 2012

Potty Training...It's Shit

First off, apologies for my absence. It's been a busy old summer since the sun finally got round to shining. I've been bridesmaid at a wonderful wedding, for which I was waxed, bleached, painted, spray tanned and electrocuted (more on that in a later blog), and for the first time since the birth of my babies I felt good about what I saw in the mirror. Since then I've ruined all my hard work by eating like a monster but I'm trying a new diet now (more on that later too).

I also ditched the kids for the weekend for a trip to V Festival. James had to work for a lot of it but luckily my brother Rich (The Gym Suicides), his girlfriend Faye (I Wish I Could Wink) and my lovely friends Laura (LymphLaura) and Rich were there to keep me company . At first it felt a bit odd to be left to my own devices without having to worry about pureeing stew or changing bums but I soon got used to it and had a brilliant time.

Anyway, I digress, what I want to blog about today is my latest foray into the parenting world...potty training Finn. I approached this latest challenge with my usual thorough parenting style (find someone else who's done it and copy them) and three weeks in, we've had moderate success.

Everyone has an opinion on the "right" age to potty train and I've had people tell me that I've missed my chance because he's now 'too busy' and others tell me that he's too young and I should wait. Well, whatever, I haven't been able to do it before now, what with having a baby and all, and I can't wait any longer as my return to work looms and I want to be there to help Finn through this. It's a big change for him and I'm his mummy, so as tempting as it is to leave the childminder to get covered in wee, we've started.

Day one saw us stay in all day, Finn naked from the waist down and me on my hands and knees with the Dettol. Day two and three were pretty much the same but every now and again we got a pee in the potty (mainly while he was sat on it staring at the TV but still, progress). At some point he seemed to get the idea and over the next week or so, the majority of his business ended up in the right place.

For the first two weeks, if we went out I popped him in a nappy but this week, we upped our game and have been out of the house nappy free. There have only been two major incidents and by major of course I mean poo. Both times it's happened when he has been preoccupied and I have taken my eye off the ball.  However, the worst thing about this whole experience has been other people's attitudes. People stare repulsed when I get the potty out in the park, tut at me when I have to hold him over the nearest tree and you should have heard the disparaging remarks when he wet himself in Sainsbury's.

The worst time was at playgroup. As I tried to clean up my miserable little boy, sad not to have made the potty in time, a woman approached me to ask if I could stop what I was doing to come and clean up my 'child's mess'. I had apparently missed a spot and she made a huge production of showing me where and hovering over me as I cleaned. I tried to put myself in her shoes, after all it's clearly unpleasant to have poo on the floor when there are other kids around. But it really was just the tiniest amount, the playgroup was hardly overrun and as a mother, she must surely be used to baby crap. It was obvious that Finn was distressed and I like to think that if roles were reversed, as a fellow parent, I would have been a little more compassionate. After all, as my lovely friend Liz said; 'it's bad enough having to clean up shit without other people making you feel like it too.'


James and I at the wedding of Laura Burch and Zac Schwarz

In the Louder Lounge with Laura and Rich - Totes Amaze


  1. Aww you look so pretty at the wedding x

  2. Hello Pretty Lady! Laura's wedding looks like it was beautiful! And so were you Alice - gorgeous dress as well!! Potty training for us was pretty pants too!! Mainly because of the flippant comments other Mum's made which I couldn't help but take personally. Your friend Liz put it just right. Next time I will be ignoring the comments and won't be embarrassed, there isn't one kid in the world that hasn't had an accident - it's all part of the process! Good work Finn!xx