Ok, so how’s the weight-loss going? Well if I tell you that last night I had takeaway for the third time this week and then ate a mars bar in bed, that should give you some idea. I just can’t do it. Working and looking after an insane one year old is too hard. I need food. I need it to keep me sane. It’s basically my only pleasure.
Anyway, speaking of having a one year old, Finn had his first birthday last month and I made the mistake of throwing him a party. I invited all his little friends from NCT, my family, the in-laws, his god-parents and all my friends with babies, amounting to somewhere in the region of 35 people.
I don’t know what I was thinking because I live in a tiny flat, we’ve only got one sofa and it obviously chucked it down with rain so the garden was off limits. People were so squished in, I made my family take it in turns sitting in the bedroom to make more space in the living area.
I had also thought that having the party at home would be the cheaper option: wrong again. I spent a staggering £105 in the party shop on what amounted to a handful of balloons, a disposable tablecloth and some paper cups and plates. I spent a further £150 on party food, and by party food I mean, egg sandwiches, party rings a few wotsits and a plate of cheese and pineapple on a stick. I did also buy a reasonable amount of booze but believe me it was necessary. Don’t even get me started on the cost of goody bags.
So, we’re all squashed in like sardines, eating my retro spread and every single person in the room has said to me “I just can’t believe he’s one!” and I’ve said to everyone “I know! it just seems like yesterday I was pregnant!” and I thought – he won’t remember a single second of this. I spent a fortune, stressed myself out buttering hundreds of slices of bread at six in the morning and he would probably have had just as much fun playing with wrapping paper for two hours. And while it was so lovely to see everyone, I was so busy rushing round that actually, I didn’t speak to anyone for more than 5 minutes.
On the plus side, he did seem to have a lovely time, we got some lovely presents to refresh his toy selection which was desperately needed and everyone was very kind about my efforts as hostess.
Still, on balance and as mean as it sounds, any future child of mine won’t be getting a proper party until they are at least three.